Struggles of a TV addict

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2011-01-21T20:38:00.001-05:00

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God at the Movies

2010-01-27T17:55:00.002-05:00

The last four movies that I saw all had a God component in them. Some of them hit you over the head with their God-ness, others showed the aftereffects of a God-less society, and one showed you how God has a sense of humor and will kill you with an icicle.

Before I go any further, I have no problem in believing in God—nor do I have problems with those who choose not to believe in a God. I like going to church—even as a gay man who isn’t welcomed in the particular faith of which I am a member. I have read the Bible (in its entirety—twice) but I couldn’t quote you any particular scripture other than “Jesus wept.” I don’t have the books of the Bible memorized—I still have to look at the Table of Contents to get where I want when looking up a reference. I like religion—it’s just that I don’t like many of the organized religions. I try to live by the Golden Rule and don’t believe that how I worship, or not, is anyone’s business but mine (and my God).

Having said that—I will have to say that I was taken aback by how heavy handed God was treated in these four disparate movies. SOILER ALERTS FOLLOW.

The first movie I saw was The Book of Eli with Denzel Washington. I usually like his movies but I was a little shocked that he would do this movie because it was an action based movie and it was so religious in its implications (I don’t know if he is a religious man, though). The movie is another in the apocalyptic genre of movies. It shows the aftermath of a lawless and Godless society (the movie’s explanation) and follows Eli along his quest to go West with his “book.” He gets beat up, messed up, and played along the way as he makes his pilgrimage. More importantly, he fails his mission (sort of) but keeps on going West because the voices tell him to.

The second God movie was a little more disquieting in that Heaven was filled with these sappy, happy, cartoon-like visions. Yet, this wasn’t actually heaven because you are stuck in the in-between until you forgive your killer (or at least help your family try and get him arrested). The movie was “Lovely Bones.” To be quite honest, I had no intention of seeing this movie until I realized that one of the actors is a heavily made-up Stanley Tucci. I will drop everything to see Stanley Tucci—one of the most underrated actors in the business. While he doesn’t have a lot of dialogue in the movie, he provides a primer in physical acting throughout—simply amazing. In the end, the protagonist escapes his past transgressions and moves on to kill another victim until a vengeful God strikes him down with a Golden and glittering icicle as he tries to pick up his next victim.

The third God movie, Legion, was somewhat expected because I knew the premise of the movie: a guardian angel is sent from heaven to help people on Earth. This premise was fine until God turns the people of Earth into zombie-like creatures in order to wreck havoc and seal the fate of all of the non-believers of the world. Enter Apocalyptic movie #2. The modern day Joseph and Mary story in an apocalyptic world is fine but the whole premise seemed designed so that the humans, as guided by the fallen angel, get to blow everyone up. It simply seemed an excuse to use a whole lot of special effects—including wings that would saw through human flesh. The only reason I went to see this movie because the picture of the angel (Paul Betthany) in the movie poster was absolutely hot, dirtied up and bare-chested and wearing leather pants. So there—I said it. I did keep on thinking though, does God ever use any fat angels? Would God put wings on Jack Black and send him to Earth to save the people?

The last movie is the one that frustrated me the most—To Save A Life. Either I didn’t do my research well enough or looked in the wrong places, but nowhere did I find that it was a faith-based movie. For those not in the know, a faith-based movie is made by religious groups as a way to proselytize young people to religion via a movie format. The thought process behind the venture is that it will address religion via a medium that young people would be more apt to view. The whole problem with this approach is that a viewer who doesn’t know that it is a faith-based movie feels duped. In a theater of 40 people watching the film (a 5:20pm showing in midtown Manhattan)—eighteen people walked out during the show when “the preaching” become more pronounced. The difficulty for me was that I would have seen the movie anyway because it dealt with a topic of which I am acutely aware—teen suicide. The depiction of high school life is very spot on in this movie. The pressures, angst, and desires (both good and bad) are faithfully (no pun intended) depicted—warts and all. Anyone with kids in high school and junior high should see this movie—you can take the preaching and proselytizing with a grain of salt (as to your own wishes and desires) but it is definitely a movie that should be seen (for both non-believers and believers).

In closing, four movies in five days with God in the background. If only He could have helped with the stomach pangs from all of that Diet Coke and popcorn.

Year # 2

2010-01-21T21:22:00.002-05:00

Well, the one year anniversary of my loss of cable has gone and I still have not ordered cable--YET. I have been surviving by watching shows on Hulu or while at work at the theater. Unfortunately, the show closed at the theater and I will be without cable for another six weeks when I return there.

I will have to say that I have missed watching television. I would get my fix by eating at places that had TV--especially during sporting events. Now that there are NFL playoffs, I have really missed cable. What sends me into a quandary is the Olympics. I am a huge Olympics fan. I watch everything--even, curling. I am an Olympics junkie and now I do not have cable. I haven't been able to find a live streaming of the Olympics for my computer. Nor have I been able to find out how people get cable streamed directly to their computer. Hell, my computer screen is larger than my television screen.

So, now--I have to figure out what I want to do. Also, this whole battle between Time Warner/Cablevision and the Food Network/HGTV has really gotten me puzzled as well. Those two channels are the essence of my entire being. How could these people not come to an agreement over terms. What's the point of having cable if you can't watch Bobby Flay 15 times a day or hear Paula Dean's voice grating on your every fiber.

I will keep you posted on my weakening over ordering cable. Please pray for me to be strong and/or find me a way to watch the Olympics on my computer.

PS, since the theater is dark, I have been able to watch some movies. I will post reviews of what I have seen--some of which have already been over-analyzed.

Day 339

2009-11-30T08:00:00.000-05:00

While I haven't totally been without television, I still do not have cable at home. When I started my new evening job, I had access to a television at work with only 10 working channels. I can watch the television at work as long as it doesn't influence my work. Most of the time, I have the closed caption on while the volume is turned off.

The only television that I have on is the Food Network and sports. I tried watching So You Think You Can Dance but it just isn't the same without hearing the music. I am surprised that I frequently turn off the television so I can do some of card making tasks.

As the year anniversary nears, I struggle with deciding if I want to spend the money and get my cable turned back on. I do miss alot of my old shows. I especially miss my sports.

So, after all of this time, live without television still hasn't gotten any easier.

Day 301:Movie Watching at a Minimum

2009-10-23T20:27:00.003-04:00

Well, I haven't seen very many movies lately. I have been working a second evening job that puts me working about 14 hours a day (not including transit time). Therefore, I haven't had a lot of spare time to go and watch movies. It kills me that I haven't seen Where the Wild Things Are.

Unfortunately, there is a small television set that gets about 5 channels. I haven't caved into bad habits and started watching it regularly, though. I have been able to watch a couple of the baseball games.

I have been working of piece meal type of work for my etsy store. I have been sewing signatures and folding paper for books. I have also been folding origami cranes for another project for next year--more about that later.

On Sunday, I hope to come into the city and watch a movie. As long as I have time to finish some projects that I need to have completed on October 29th.

Day 286--Whip It

2009-10-08T17:33:00.003-04:00

There is so much to like about this movie that you can easily overlook some of the minor hiccups. WhipIt is a look into the life of bored teenagers in a small Texas town and how they try to escape their current existence and find meaning and purpose in their lives.

Ellen Page and Marsha Gay Hardin give stellar performances that will be remembered come awards time. The directing needs some polishing but I can't understand why a first time director would chose to act in the same movie. Drew Barrymore makes some great choices--especially having the guts to let the actors act without dialogue while the camera continues to roll. The effect forces the audience to concentrate on the physical aspects of the performance and it is quite effective. The tension that develops from this lack of dialogue hovers in the air until something is done. Some of the editing leaves a little bit to be desired and the driving scene to Austin with Bliss and Pash is shot so unbelievably badly that you think of the old time sitcoms (e.g., Lucy and Ricky Ricardo on the way to California). I don't know if they ran out of money or if the shot was done post-production, but regardless--it is very amateurish.

If you enjoyed Juno, or movies about teenage angst, or movies about the country kid who makes it good, or movies about mothers and daughters, or movies about daughters and fathers, then you will love this movie.

I rate this movie one watch

Viewed on October 3, 2009 at AMC Empire25 Theaters (NYC).

Day 275--Coco before Chanel

2009-09-27T08:00:00.001-04:00

Another opening, another boring show. For someone who lived such a fantastic life, the movie Coco before Chanel does everything it can to prevent you from enjoying the life of a fashion icon of the world.

Granted, the title should have forewarned my expectations. Being the dunderhead that I am, I didn’t even realize that the movie was going to be in French with English subtitles. The self-proclaimed fashionistas in the audience yawned and sighed throughout the movie because nothing new was shown on screen. If you wanted to see a simplistic biopic of the life of Coco Chanel, you would have been better off watching the Lifetime special.

Because the movie ambles along as quickly as the carriage horse opening the movie, Chanel’s designs aren’t even highlighted until the last scene of the movie. Rather on the simplistic side, the movie presents itself so heavy-handedly, I actually groaned a couple of times. In the iconic trip to the sea where Chanel sees the fishermen hauling their catch, the camera pans back and forth between extreme close ups of Coco and the fishermen’s jumpers. This then blacks out until the next see in which Coco is wearing the woman’s version of the same jumper.

While the plot is heavy handed, the cinematography isn’t--it is an absolutely gorgeous movie to watch. The opulence of the countryside, the grandness of scale of the party scenes, and the costumes are stunning. I don’t think that it is worth seeing on the big screen and should be added to your Netflix queue when it is available.

If you are a fan of Chanel or of fashion, there really isn’t anything new to learn from this movie.
I rate this movie three watches.

Viewed on 9/25/09 at Clearview Chelsea Cinema (NYC).

Day 274--Fame

2009-09-26T12:17:00.004-04:00

Unfortunately, we won’t remember any of their names. What promised to be a great movie simply turned out to be an extended demo reel for So You Think You Can Dance. What should have been a celebration of high school angst in a high school for performing arts turned out to be clichéd performing arts stereotypes and overdone non-dramatic story lines.

I don’t know how a film about high school students could be so boring but this one. Of course, it will sell well because all of the performing arts people will flock to see it. What the producers don’t realize is that people won’t want to see it more than once because we don’t care about most of the characters.

For those wanting to see a recreation of the original Fame, don’t bother. This is a repurposed Fame for the benefit of the current creative team. The only song that is revisited is Out Here On My Own. The original theme song doesn’t appear until the closing credits. The creative team seemed more interested in making their own lights shine rather than the lights of their unknown stars. Debbie Allen is seen onscreen more than other performers. You see too much of the teachers rather than the students. Also, Debbie Allen’s Afrocentric dance gets a shining moment as does a Wade Robson-esque Freak Carnival scene (straight from SYTYCD).

Unfortunately, this movie is unmemorable and better seen on DVD when it comes out in two weeks.

I rate this movie three watches.

Viewed on 09/25/09 at Clearview Zigfeld Theater (NYC).

BTW, this post represents 3/4ths of a year without cable TV.

Day 265

2009-09-17T11:46:00.001-04:00

Only in NYC

I decided to go see a Broadway show earlier this week. I was having a hard time at the office balancing the books and budgets—the numbers just didn’t want to cooperate. I was wearing jeans and a graphic t-shirt. The neckline and sleeves were a little tattered but I decided to go anyway.

When I was sitting in my TKS assigned seat in the Mezzanine, two older women were sitting to my left.

Lady #1: In my day, people just wouldn’t go the theater dressed like that.
Lady# 2: At least he could have put on a dress shirt.
Lady #1: Or a clean T-shirt, one that isn’t frayed at the collar and sleeves.

Realizing that they were talking about me, I decided that I was simply going to ignore them and watch the show. Unfortunately, they kept up their babble for another 3 or 4 minutes. By this time, I was going to throw civility out the door and be a Representative Wilson. I leaned over to the ladies and said in my nicest voice:

“I’m an understudy for the show and I have to watch the show from the seats. I just finished rehearsal. I’m so sorry that I didn’t have time to change.”

They kindly smiled and apologized for their affront and we watched the show. During intermission, we chatted and I made sure to inquire about them enjoying the show. When the show was over, we said our goodbyes and they wished me good luck and asked:

Lady #1: Which part are you the understudy for?
Me: The father
Lady #1: Aren’t you a little heavy to play the father?
Lady #2: (to Lady #1) I’m sure the costumes help, dear.

Day 258--9

2009-09-10T11:51:00.003-04:00

Watching 9 is like watching the love child of MC Escher and The Triplets of Belleville. This post-apocalyptic film will rankle some, bore others, and inspire many. While I am tired of our infatuation with the post-apocalyptic theme (which will occur on 12-12-12 according to the trailers of 2012 the movie), this film doesn’t add anything new to the genre of these types of films—but it does add to the genre of animation.

I am very glad to see non-Disneyesque types of saturated colors. The palette of this movie is shades of doom and gloom. When bright colors are used, they are used for a purpose. The drawing is amazing. The animation is special (in one of the opening scenes 9 passes behind a glass and the transparency of the glass is shown. For animation, it is an amazing technique).

The plot is admirable but gets a little treacly with the love story between 9 and 3. What intrigued me the most are the themes and characterizations of the movie. I anticipate many bohemian styled college students sitting around drinking and getting high discussing the symbolism and merits of the movie. Is 1, with his cape and mitre, representative of the Pope? Is the ending and the regeneration of the human population a clarion call for the theory of abiogenesis?

At 80 minutes, this is a concise, no-holds-barred journey to do what is right in the land of the sock-monkey type creations called stitchpunks. I think kids will get bored, the 13-17 year olds (for whom this was designed) will get irked and animation lovers will revel in this movie.

I rate this movie zero watches.
Viewed on 09-09-09 at AMC Empire 25 (NYC)

Day 256

2009-09-08T08:00:00.001-04:00

I can’t say that my desire to watch TV hasn’t diminished although I no longer read the newspaper TV listings to see what I am missing. The most difficult part of not watching TV is the inability to converse in the pop culture ramblings of those around me. Questions about Big Brother, the manifestations of Mad Men, the scoring drives of the US Soccer Team—I am now a fish out of water in these conversations.

Additionally, I am looked upon with disdain when I tell people that I don’t have cable. As a gay man, cable television is the latest fashion accessory to be worn with madras shorts, Andrew Christian underwear and oversized sunglasses.

While I do miss watching the Mets baseball games (if when they lose), I also miss the creative shows like Top Chef and Project Runway. I can follow allow on the computer and You Tube has been able to satiate some of my cravings, but I still jones for television.

My boss does allow me access to the television in his office and I do tend to eat at establishments that have television. Similarly, I actually will go to a bar to drink when they play something on the television that I want to see. I have turned the art of eating Chicken McNuggets into twenty minute microbites per McNugget just so I could finish watching the USA vs. El Salvador soccer match.

Hello. My name is Russ and I am a TV addict.

Day 251--X Games 3D Movie

2009-09-03T08:00:00.000-04:00

XGames 3D Movie is a spectacle for the eyes. Although a MTV production, the film is slickly produced and provides a lot of bang for the cinematic buck. The documentary follows extreme sports participants in a variety of competition settings. Clearly the American spirit of winning is the basic tenet of the movie.

While watching these men compete (for some reason, the producers/directors chose not to feature any women), the audience learns about the motivation of these men as they challenge themselves, their aching bodies, their tired minds, and each other. While competitors at heart, these men are members of an elite athletic fraternity and they truly seem to care for each other.

While the competitions amaze in the movie, the editing leaves a lot to be desired. Why directors can’t comprehend a completed story line in a documentary is beyond my comprehension. It seems as if the director was afraid to run over into Real World Tahiti’s time slot and decided to conclude the film.

If you want to see faster, higher, and dangerous, skate on over to the theater to see this movie. Unfortunately, this movie simply will not translate well to the small screen.

I rate this movie two watches.
Viewed on August 25, 2009 at Regal 13 Theaters (NYC)

Day 250--September Issue

2009-09-02T08:00:00.001-04:00

Watching September Issue is similar to watching commedia del arte—you know the characters, the scenarios and the outcomes; yet you still revel in the machinations on stage.

Enter Stage Left Pantalone (Anna Wintour)—status bearer, high priestess, and full of her own importance. She believes in her own self styling as she is shown to be shuttled via driver and unseen airlines to Paris, Milan and the Hamptons.

Enter Stage Right Harlequin (Grace Coddington)—former model who has moved up in the fashion world to become one the greatest creative directors of Vogue. The servant who knows better than the master, she takes no prisoners when confronting Pantalone.

Enter Upstage Il Dottore (Andre Leon Talley)—a buffoon who tries to sound important but simply embarrasses himself by commenting on fashion without viewing himself in the mirror.

While the movie is fun to watch, especially since Harlequin wins in the end, there isn’t anything here that is newsworthy or earth shattering. Only those people interested in Project Runway or who work in the fashion industry would enjoy this movie. If you are interested in food-starved models, you might want to see it. My biggest complaint of the movie is the over-stylized filming. Too many saturated colors—unnaturally blue water in NYC, too green grass in France. It seemed that the Director of Photography purchased a new set of colored lenses and wanted to use all of them.

If you like fashion, put this in your Netflix queue—if not, skip it entirely.

I rate this movie four watches.
Viewed on August 31, 2009 at AMC Empire 25 Theaters (NYC)

Day 249--Fifty Dead Men Walking

2009-09-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

I have to admit that I wasn’t up to speed about the topic of this movie before seeing it. I saw the previews at one point and decided that it was a movie that I wanted to see. The preview showed a Jason Statham Transporter type adrenaline with a gritty, in-your-face type of cinematography. While the movie is slickly produced, it shows a country in turmoil when two sides try to kill each other and the government that tries to intervene.

The movie follows a petty Catholic conman (played by an excellent Jim Sturgess) in Northern Ireland who gets arrested and convinced to infiltrate the IRA (Irish Republican Army). The intricacies of the movie are loosely based on a real story about someone that is still being hunted by the IRA.

Not knowing the history of Northern Ireland and the conflicts that did/still strife that country, I was taken aback by the similarities of gang-violence in America. Can someone hate some so badly because they are members of an offending group? Is the common enemy the government that tries to keep them from killing themselves? With the factioning of American society, is this movie the harbinger of what is to become of America?

There is plenty of action, intrigue, and suspense to keep this movie interesting. You don’t have to know about Northern Ireland to appreciate the movie. The movie is subtitled in English if you are afraid that you might not understand the thick accents.

Put this on your Netflix queue because it definitely is worth a viewing and it will translate well to the small screen.

I rate this movie two watches.
Viewed on August 24, 2009 at AMC Empire 25 Theaters (NYC).

Day 248--Taking Woodstock

2009-08-31T08:00:00.000-04:00

Taking Woodstock is a movie that has great potential--unfortunately, it never reaches it. The movie is large—wide panoramic views, lots of people, a huge spectacle of humanity. While the movie loves to bathe itself in excess, the small details get lost in the movie’s scope.

Taking Woodstock features some above average acting; the main problem is that the characters are never fully developed. While the summer of love seems to be a theme of the movie, the audience never really gets the chance to reciprocate that love to the actors. Too many blown chances are wasted for the sake of expediency. You would think that the director would have plenty of time to finish plot lines with a movie running two hours in length.

Instead, Ang Lee wants to show us his cinematic/photographic prowess rather than have us care about the characters. While the movie is interesting to see, including a Rich Griffin-esque psychedelic trip, Lee strives to impress us with technique. He uses split screens to show action. While the technique in the hands of Tarantino or Brian De Palma proves purposeful, Lee simply uses it show the extra footage he shot.

The movie is longish for no apparent reason other than the director’s own self-absorption but it should be seen on the big screen because the magnitude of the film will get lost on the small screen.

If other movies that you want to see are sold out, this should be your third choice to see.

I rate this movie three watches.
Viewed on August 30, 2009 at Clearview Chelsea Theaters.

Day 239--Inglourious Basterds

2009-08-22T08:00:00.001-04:00

It’s always difficult to evaluate a Quentin Tarantino film. He seems to be one of those directors that you either love or hate. Of course, for me, this is one of those times.

There are many aspects of this movie to like. I like the rewriting of history (e.g., the plot). More importantly, I love all of the technical aspects of his movie. If you ever want to be a film director, you must watch the oeuvre of QT. The camera angles alone are worth the price of admission. Another aspect to love is the tongue in cheek/satire/parody that find their way into his movies. Finally, QT always has a way of getting the best out of his actors. While Brad Pitt’s screen time was too limited for my tastes, the acting of Christoph Waltz (the character of Hans Landa) was worth every minute.

There a lot of aspects to not like about this movie. Everyone dies and unfortunately, for me, you see every single agonizing aspect of their death—from every angle and multiple times. Not being a fan of slasher movies, it was simply too much for me. One of the truly annoying aspects of the movie is the very loud soundtrack. When the action of the film is at a standstill, the soundtrack blares out of the speakers—unnecessarily so.

If you like QT films, you will love this movie. Regrettably, I don’t. While most of the film seems like a repeat/reworking of action from his numerous films (Kill Bill series, Grindhouse, Pulp Fiction), there is enough to like in this film.

I rate this film one watch.
Viewed on August 21, 2009 at Clearview Ziegfeld Theatre (NYC).

Day 236--Adam

2009-08-19T08:00:00.000-04:00

I wanted to see the movie Adam before it left NYC. It wasn’t getting much play time and was getting lost in the summer of blockbusters. With 14 movies opening this weekend, I was afraid that I would miss it.

The main reason I wanted to see the movie was Hugh Dancy. I met him while he was performing on Broadway in 2007 in the Tony Award winning Best Revival of the play, Journey’s End. I was amazed at his craft on stage. I was absolutely amazed at how nice of a person he was.

If you enjoy good acting and don’t mind shedding a tear or two, go and see this film. The camera work isn’t as slick as Time Traveler’s Wife but that is done with a very conscious decision. Hugh Dancy is an absolute marvel in this film and he is paired wonderfully with Rose Byrne (which I am happy to say makes up for her making the film, Knowing).

I don’t want to give away any of the plot so as not to ruin parts of the movie for you but see this movie before it leaves. See it on the big screen. If you want a good date flick, this would be the one (much more so than The Time Traveler’s Wife).

I rate this movie one watch.

Viewed on August 18, 2009 at AMC Empire 25 (NYC)

Day 235--Ponyo

2009-08-18T08:00:00.000-04:00

The movie Ponyo is supposed to be for children. Unfortunately, I don’t think that children of the US really understand some of the nuances of this Japanese film released under a Disney logo. In the spirit of full disclosure, I must emphatically state my love of Japan and the Japanese culture. Please keep this mind when reading this review.

From the opening credits, viewers will realize that this isn’t a Disney movie. Gone are the garish Technicolor hues associated with Disney and Pixar products. Vanished are the computer animated drawing and reproduction. Absent are the slick cels associated with today’s animation.

The color palette consists of dusty pastels and amended primary colors. When a bright color is used it is textured with brush strokes and crosshatching. The animation is stop gap style animation associated with Speed Racer type of old fashioned animation. The look is very 60s mod style animation (think of the Yellow Submarine film) crossed with classic Japanese woodblock printing of Hokusai.

Simply put, the movie is an artist’s dream to watch.

As for the plot, this is a Japanese retelling of Hans Christian Anderson’s The Little Mermaid. Unfortunately for the kids that saw the movie when I did (a 3:00 pm Sunday show time), they seemed to lose interest in the movie. The adults seemed to enjoy the movie more than the children. People did complain about the Japanese cultural aspects (Japanese names, Japanese kanji on the buildings, Japanese bowing to authority figures, etc.).

As for me, it is a worthwhile adventure that should be seen on the large screen. I would recommend this movie for artists, Japanese anime enthusiasts, and children over the age of six.

I rate this movie zero watches.

Viewed on August 16, 2009 at AMC Empire 25 (NYC).

NB. I would have preferred to have heard this movie in Japanese with English subtitles. There is something annoying about having American actors dub the voices of these characters. They young girl that voiced Ponyo sounded like Elmo. Betty White sounds like Betty White and her voice overpowers the elderly character she plays in the film. Unfortunately, some of the characterization gets lost because viewers associate what they are seeing to the voice of the actor rather than the character being shown.

Day 234--The Time Traveler's Wife

2009-08-17T10:06:00.005-04:00

I really wanted to hate this movie for a variety of reasons. First, the whole concept of time travel was kinda cheesy for me. Second, after seeing Eric Bana in Funny People, I didn’t know what to expect. Finally, it is a serious date flick and I was going alone.

I was mildly surprised at the movie. Once I accepted the fact that time travel happens (which is a big suspension of disbelief for me) and you go with the flow of the movie, I relaxed and enjoyed the movie for what it is.

The movie is very beautiful to watch and the acting is very good. The chemistry between Bana and Rachel McAdams was excellent. Not having read the book, the conclusion was a little contrived and too easily guessed which to me were the weakest points of the movie.

This is definitely a date movie but one that can easily be seen on the small screen.

On a personal note,

Dear Mr. Bana,
In the future when you are scheduled to appear nude in a film: either do some extra squats or get a better butt double.

I rate this movie two watches.

Viewed on August 15, 2009 at Clearview Chelsea Theaters (NYC)

Day 233--District 9

2009-08-16T08:00:00.000-04:00

If you like Science Fiction and slasher movies, RUN (don’t walk) to see District 9. There is very little wrong with this movie. The acting is superb, the graphics are phenomenal, the CGI is spectacular but more importantly, the writing is absolutely amazing.

The plot of the movie provides pathos, excitement, and suspense that will keep you on the edge of your seat. There is absolutely nothing complicated in the storytelling in this movie. You follow along as you are led. There aren’t any surprise plot twists to falsely ratchet the tension. In other words, this is an intelligently written and played movie—unlike some of the other summer blockbuster movies this year.

The documentary style of the movie is seamlessly interwoven into the live action of the movie and you are never lost because time is being kept for you on screen. The wonderful aspect of the writing is that the ending of the movie is foretold at the beginning but the viewer doesn’t know any of the details. By knowing the ending, the viewer can then watch the movie unafraid of movie tricks and gimmicks.

The movie is rated R for the blood and gore; if you are a little squeamish about these types of movies, you might want to forego seeing it. If you can tolerate such things, you owe it to yourself to see one of the best movies of this year.

I rate this movie zero watches.

Viewed on August 15, 2009 at Clearview Cinemas Chelsea (NYC).

Day 230--Julie and Julia

2009-08-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

My love affair with Julia Child began when I wanted to learn to cook. I learned to cook by watching her and the Galloping Gourmet (Graham Kerr). I didn’t realize that I was gay then but something about the kitsch factor of those two shows should have clued me in (although, Julia Child and her husband Paul were two of the greatest homophobes around).

I had read the book Julie & Julia when it was first published. My obsession with all things Julia Child led me to read the book within a day. I understood Julie Powell and her obsession and I could understand her angst in wanting something to call my own.

Unfortunately, the movie doesn’t’ deliver as well as the book does. For those people looking to see the Meryl Streep and Amy Adams chemistry from the movie Doubt—you will be greatly disappointed. Some of my friends were hoping to see the two square off. While my friends enjoyed the movie, they simply didn’t understand the premise of the movie beforehand.

The acting is superb and Meryl Streep does an amazing impersonation of Julia Child (even though her accent disappears several times). Amy Adams is cute as Julie Powell but she comes off as a little too sappy for my tastes. The movie is entertaining enough but just doesn’t carry over emotionally. While there are plenty of opportunities to increase the tension in the movie, the plot lines only come to a simmer rather than the roiling boil that is necessary. Regrettably, these plots lines evaporate rather than make it to the plate.

I rate this movie two watches.

Viewed on August 10, 2009 at Clearview Chelsea theaters (NYC).

Day 229-- GI Joe

2009-08-12T08:00:00.000-04:00

If you like big budget popcorn movies, this is your movie. The movie is loud, fast, and a visual treat. If you want a smart, well made and intelligent movie—STAY HOME. Viewers will have to take a lot for granted in watching this movie but if you are willing to skip past the inaccuracies in plot, run to this movie.

The acting is horrific and hopefully, you won’t want Oscar caliber acting—because, you certainly won’t get it here. Dennis Quad is simply laughable. Why he is on the screen is beyond me. Granted, he is given lines that must have been written by a computer or robot. Channing Tatum as an Army Captain is unbelievable in anyone’s book. Seeing him in command of an Army unit is ludicrous.

If you are willing to overlook these problems and just want to sit back and enjoy the spectacle of the movie—take a big breath and relax because you are going to love what you see. With the exception of a single bad example of desert sand disappearing over a sink hole, the CGI and editing of the movie is fantastic. The quick cut editing is remarkable and at times breathtaking.

I enjoyed the movie only because of the technical aspects on the screen.

I rate this movie three watches.

Viewed on August 7, 2009 Clearview Ziegfeld Theater NYC.

Day 228--Funny People

2009-08-11T08:00:00.001-04:00

The biggest problem with the movie Funny People is that it can’t decide what it wants to be. Should it be a movie about the frailties of stand up comics or should it be a movie about death and dying and the effects it has on people—including the dying person. Unfortunately, the movie tries to tackle both issues and fails miserably.

Don’t get me wrong—there are flashes of brilliance in this movie, notably by Adam Sandler. The movie is funniest when he is doing stand up. Granted, most of the humor is sophomoric—bathroom type humor. Some of the funniest parts of the movie are the home videos of a young Adam Sandler that are incorporated in the current film.

The low point of the movie is the bad acting of Eric Bana. While he tries to play an over-the-top jealous husband, the characterization just doesn’t work because it simply isn’t believable. Although, I enjoy Bana as an actor, this just isn’t his movie.

The ending of the movie is predictable, maudlin, and expected. Rather than let the audience contemplate the capriciousness of fame, friendship and loneliness, the movie tries to tie up the pieces and then ram them down your throat.

I rate this movie three watches.

Viewed on August 3, 2009 at Regal E-Walk13 NYC.

Day 227--Orphan

2009-08-10T08:00:00.000-04:00

While the tagline of the poster reads, “There’s something wrong with Esther,” the real tagline should read “Everything’s wrong with the movie.”

Slasher movies aren’t my particular favorites but I am a fan of psychological thrillers. Not knowing what to expect from this movie, it was chosen because Peter Sarsgaard was a key player. I am greatly relieved to say that there wasn’t a lot of blood and guts in the movie.

While the acting in the movie was above par, the film just doesn’t seem plausible enough to be enjoyable. For a psychological thriller to work, you must accept the premise that the reality presented on screen could actually happen. The difficulty with this film is that you know the protagonist from the beginning—you just don’t know how or why.

Once the truth is revealed, the biggest question you ask yourself is “Why have I stayed here so long?” While the ending is climatic, the likelihood of it happening, as played on the screen, is so simply unbelievable that there is no way that one can suspend their disbelief in order to accommodate the plot.

I enjoyed watching the men of the audience more than the movie—they would squirm in their seats and/or shift their weight during the scary parts of the movie. Once the movie was over, they manned-up and boasted “that bitch didn’t scare me” or “I knew it all the time.”

I rate this movie four watches.

Viewed on July 31, 2009 at AMC Empire 25 (NYC).

Day 206--The Way We Get By

2009-07-20T08:00:00.000-04:00

On July 17th, I went to the Independent Film Center in NYC to see a special screening of the documentary The Way We Get By. The documentary discusses a special group of people who are known as "troop greeters" at Bangor, Maine airport. The airport at Bangor serves as the first arrival or final departure for troops arriving from, or departing to, Afghanistan or Iraq. This cadre of volunteers greets all incoming and outgoing flights and welcome the troops. The documentary showcases three of these volunteers and highlights their special needs and problems.

While I applaud the film for its treatment of these special people but the film has problems in deciding what it wants to be: a film about aging in America (or at least, in rural Maine), a film about the troops, or a political film about the ongoing wars. Unfortunately, because the film cannot decide on a topic, you don't get a satisfactory ending to any of the themes.

Just because you are making a documentary doesn't mean that good film making/storytelling isn't necessary. For me, a documentary simply means that the film is about something real as opposed to a fictional account of something that is real.

In this film, you get the introduction and a development but the end just fizzles leaving you with a feeling of "what happens next?" Watching this film would be similar to ordering a pre fixe meal and getting the appetizer and main meal but getting the check rather than the dessert.

I rate this film two watches

Day 203--Harry Potter VI

2009-07-17T08:00:00.000-04:00

OK, first of all, grandpa is too old to be watching a movie at midnight:01. Also, I had no desire to watch the movie with all of the Harry Potter freaks who decided to dress up as their favorite character. It's just a movie, people. These characters are not real. They can't hear you when you scream at them during the movie.

While I am a fan of the movies and the books, I am not the fanatical viewer that memorizes each story before watching the film. I have read the books but I can't/won't quote plot lines and trivia to the amazement of my friends. I have only read each book once. I read them fairly quickly so that I could get through them. I don't remember half of the nuances that my friends choose to argument about over their half soy vanilla lattes with cinnamon.

Truth be told, I had to watch the movie twice because one friend didn't want to go alone. I also wanted to watch the movie alone at the Zigfield theater which is becoming for me a movie going pleasure.

In a one sentence review, the movie was just OK. I received 127 email messages from my friends lambasting the dropped plot lines, the undeveloped characters, yada yada yada. It is just a movie--it is not supposed to be a religious experience or conversion.

Some of the things that I did like:

There are some really funny one-liners
I'm glad to see Harry growing up and actually acting like a teenager
Tom Felton as Draco Malfoy was excellent
Alan Rickman as Snape was excellent as well
The overwhelming star of the show was Jim Broadbent

Some of the things that I didn't like

too much teenager horniness (we get it that the kids want to kiss and make out but it was way too much on screen)
the lack of consistency of the CGI. Some of it was great. Other times it was very amateurish. The fire in the lake was awful. The Moses scene of the parting of the fire sea actually made me laugh out loud--much to the chagrin of my friend. I found it interesting that fire underwater causes bubbles but when Harry opens his mouth to breath underwater, no bubbles escape his mouth.
the ending was simply boring and anti-climatic. No one in the audience cried at the death of Dumbledore. Also, the raising of cigarette lighters/wands at the end was really comical which again made me laugh out loud (which earned me an elbow in the ribs from my friend).

So, in the end, the movie was just OK. Nothing spectacular but certainly enjoyable. What makes me angry is that I will have to sit through TWO more Potter movies since the greedy Potter industry wants to gouge their dear readers of even more money (as if Rowling doesn't have a bezillion dollars already).

I rate this movie two watches.

Day 200--Bruno

2009-07-14T08:00:00.001-04:00

On July 10th, I decided to drag my butt to see Bruno. I had no real desire to see it but I wanted to be an informed critic when the topic came up for discussion amongst my friends. I decided to see it alone because I didn’t want my friends to be watching me watch the movie. They love to see me grimace when I don’t like something and they have never let me forget when I let out an actual groan during some stupid movie they wanted to see.

I decided to see a 7:40 pm showing in Chelsea village (the gay part of NYC) so I could gauge the reaction of gays and non-gays to the movie. To my surprise, the place was packed. There wasn’t an empty seat in the whole theater. Maybe the gays came out in force because of the promise of full frontal male nudity.

As for the movie, it was high school type shock comedy. Another movie in the scope of Jackass or an extended Punk’d episode. There were a few times where even I chucked. Not that I ever laughed at any time which put me in the minority. Some of the audience members where roaring with laughter. Maybe it is because I don’t find humor in other people’s discomfort.

Yes, there are some stupid people out there. Many of them are simply ignorant of the world around them or they simply don’t care about life beyond their own existence. I get that. I understand that these people will never really care to understand me or my life. I’m fine with that. But to flaunt their ignorance for the enjoyment of others seems mean spirited and comedic hypocrisy.

For me, the funniest part of the movie was the camping scene where Bruno and three campers sit around the campfire. After Bruno makes some dimwitted comment about Sex and the City, there is total silence for a lengthy time. The funniest part of the movie was when Bruno didn’t speak and let the situation speak for itself.

Finally, is the movie homophobic? I don’t think so. It does play into many gay stereotypes and portrays gays as randy, sexual deviants and fetishists. Is the movie pro-gay in that it shows real homophobic people? Not really. No one going into the movie will change their views about gays or straights because the situations are so unreal you are seeing caricatures on both sides.

I rate this movie four stars.

Day 199--Whatever Works

2009-07-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

On July 8th, I was bored. I didn’t want to go home and listen to the Mets lose another game. It was too hot to go home to my air condition-less apartment, so I decided to go and watch a movie.

There really wasn’t anything out that I was dying to see. I wanted to watch a couple of foreign films but I was tired from work and didn’t feel like concentrating on subtitles.

I went to the uptown theater where I was hoping that something would catch my fancy and the only movie that was playing within thirty minutes of my arrival was Woody Allen’s Whatever Works.

Lately, I keep getting reminded of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. Just because you can, should you? In this case, no. There is no redeemable reason why this thirty year old script should have ever been produced. The plot is mundane, the acting pedestrian, the affronts to the audience annoying, and the negative NYC Jewish stereotypes old-fashioned.

Larry David isn’t a movie actor and it shows. His Curb Your Enthusiasm style humor just doesn’t work here. The only saving grace of the movie for me was Henry Cavill (one of the actors from The Tudors). Why Mr. Allen could have Melody fall in love with an American actor is still beyond my understanding.

This is a movie worth skipping. If you must watch, wait for it to come out on the small screen. Now I know why Woody Allen was so incensed about the American Apparel ads; he needed the money to cover the lack of funds he will receive on this bomb.

I rate this movie four watches.

Day 194--Overheard in NYC

2009-07-08T16:04:00.003-04:00

8:30 AM
B Train from the Bronx to Midtown

An elderly women enters the subway car--

Mother (as she pulls her son off a seat): Get up for the old lady.
5 year old son: Then why ain't you sitting down.

Day 188--Departures

2009-07-02T13:52:00.004-04:00

On July 1, I visited a local art film house to see the import movie that won the Oscar for the Best Foreign Language film. My affinity for all things Japanese is well known and I was drawn to the movie like a moth to a flame.

The movie house had the dimensions of the the old gay porn movie theaters of the 80s. A central aisle with 18 rows of seats. A bank of three seats to the left and a bank of nine seats to the right. The screen was about 12 feet high and 25 feet wide, i.e., a very small screen. The experience was interesting and enjoyable because there wasn't any loud talking, no cell phone use, no text messaging, and no one was loudly smacking their lips on their popcorn or slurping their drinks.

The premise of the movie was about renewal and redemption--two famous themes in Japanese films. The story follows a cellist who loses his orchestra job in Tokyo. He must return to his small town with wife in hand. Once in town, he answers an advertisement for a job regarding "Departures." Thinking that he was going to be a travel agent, he winds up learning the trade of "casketing."

While the topic might seem morose, the movies examines the pathos, joy, acceptance and forgiveness associated with the death of a loved one. The acting is superb. The cinematography is beautiful. I especially enjoyed seeing Mt. Fuji in difference seasons--especially during Cherry Blossom bloom. The Japanese take some liberties in filming that American audiences might find strange or unexplainable but for Japanese mentalities, they are part and parcel of the experience. Finally, if you love classical music, the sound track is a must. For me, the soundtrack added so much to the enjoyment of the whole movie and did so seamlessly.

This is definitely a picture worth seeing. I am glad that I got to see it on the "big" screen and will probably watch it again when it comes out on Netflix.

I rate this movie zero watches:

Caveat: Japanese with English subtitles.

Day 187--Hurt Locker

2009-07-01T15:39:00.003-04:00

There are some films that will define a period in American history. Now, as the United States enters into another era of fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, the movie that will define our presence there will be Hurt Locker. Vietnam had its Full Metal Jacket, Platoon, and Apocalypse Now. The Iraq war now has its defining movie.

I have to admit that I was drawn to the film by the presence of Ralph Fiennes and Guy Pearce. I could go on forever about both of these phenomenal actors. Unfortunately for me (but not for the movie), these actors play very minor roles in the movie.

The movie is a fictional account of a bomb disposal squad in Iraq. The angst, joy, fear, grief, isolation and camaraderie of these men is shown and developed as they fight a war they are ill-prepared to fight, work in a land where they are not wanted, and live in fear of every person with whom they interact.

I was not familiar with any of the actors portraying the three main characters. Someone that gives a gritty and noteworthy performance is Jeremy Renner. He definitely should be remembered come Oscar time. Anthony Mackie gives a great performance as well. Brian Geraghty, a local NJ actor, gives a splendid performance too.

This is a must see for people who enjoy insightful political commentary (without being beat over the head), great acting, superb suspense and action, or are opposed to our military presence where it doesn’t belong.

This movie is rated zero watches.

Day 186--My Sister's Keeper

2009-06-30T08:00:00.003-04:00

I am a huge fan of Abigail Breslin. I thought that she did a tremendous job is Little Miss Sunshine. I enjoyed her in Definitely, Maybe and Nim's Island. I even tolerated the movie Kit Kittridge: An American Girl which was two hours of my life that I wish that I could have back (not due to any fault of her acting).

I believe that Abigail Breslin is one of the rising stars in acting at the moment. Her ability to act and react on camera is true. With her acting, as opposed to many young actors, the viewer doesn't see the machinations behind her actions or choices. She never seems to break character at any point in the movie/scene. She always seems to get it right.

Another plus of this movie is Joan Cusack. When any of the Cusack clan is in a movie, I am there. No questions asked. No amount of money denied. Unfortunately, she plays a small part of this movie, but an important part.

This movie isn't going to be for everyone. If you like real dramas that make you think and make you cry--run to see this movie; pass GO, get your $200, and rush to this movie. This is the modern day Whose Life is it Anyway? which raises all kinds of medical ethics questions. It also brings to thought the age-old Mary Shelley Frankenstein question--just because we can, should we do something?

I don't want to give away the plot of the story or the premise. The movie is an absolute stunner that will have the hardest of souls with tissues and/or handkerchiefs in hand (does anyone carry handkerchiefs these days?).

The acting is fantastic from top to bottom and Cameron Diaz gives an amazing and appropriate performance as the mother. While there a few shortcomings to the movie (namely, the whole idea of Judge the dog), this is definitely a movie worth seeing.

CAVEAT: You really have to pay attention in this movie. Most of the movie is done in narration (so you have to remember the sound of the difference voices for it to make sense--which is easy if you are paying attention) and done in flashback (you have to remember where you are in the movie at all times, e.g., past, present, distant past, near past, etc).

I rate this movie zero watches:

Day 185--The Proposal

2009-06-29T08:00:00.001-04:00

So I am a shallow gay man. I have to admit that I went to see The Proposal mainly because of Ryan Reynolds. The fact that he gets naked in the movie earned it an extra star (no frontal though, for all of you prudes out there).

Also, I am a big fan of Sandra Bullock comedies (including the Miss Congeniality series). I believe that she has great comic timing and the control over her body and face is amazing. I don't think that she really is appreciated enough for her comic chops.

What did surprise me was the comic timing of Ryan Reynolds. None of it was shown in X-men: Wolverine. Some of it was shown in Definitely, Maybe but in this movie, he is downright funny.

The movie is a chuckle-fest with a couple of guffaws thrown in. It definitely isn't a pee in your pants kind of funny. The story has been done before and you will figure out the ending quicker than Craig T. Nelson does (who by the way, needs to get out of the box he is getting typecast in--the angry adult father figure). Mary Steenburgen plays a convincing loving and doting mother. Betty White steals the movie though.

So, if you need a good date flick and want to go "Awww" at the end, see The Proposal.

I rate this movie two watches:

Day 184--Moon

2009-06-28T08:00:00.002-04:00

OK, so I have to admit that I am getting caught up in my blog entries. I have seen these movies and was just too busy, or lazy, to blog about them. In other words, I am not blogging about them in order.

Today's entry is an intriguing adventure into space. Since the movie isn't necessarily doing that well and is going underreported in most newspapers, I will try and fill in some of the bits and pieces without giving away the plot or the surprises.

If you love 2001: A Space Odyssey, you should see this movie. If you love great acting, you should see this movie. If you are an actor and want to study your craft, you HAVE to see this movie.

What happens when you are on a space station alone and are responsible for keeping an important business running? What happens if your only friend is a talking robot/nurse/confidant (voiced by Kevin Spacey)? What would happen if your only communication was via a video link? What would happen if you found out that you weren't really yourself?

These are all questions posed and answered in this engaging movie. The acting is great. Sam Rockwell is superb in this movie. I have always been a fan of his because he always does the off-the-wall type of characters that no one else has the guts to do.

Definitely worth the time and effort to find this movie and see it.

I give this movie one watch:

SPOILER ALERT FOLLOWS:

The reason that I didn't give this movie a no watch rating was because I really wanted more characters in the movie. Once you are resigned to the fact that Sam Rockwell will be playing both parts in the movie, you free yourself to enjoy the movie. The only deficiency in this approach is that the movie bogs down a little bit in the beginning until the second Sam Bell comes along.

What I really appreciate about the movie, especially being an actor, is the ability of Sam Rockwell to carry the whole movie. For some parts, the movie is like an extended monologue. Then, having to act with and against yourself would have to be an immense chore.

Once again, if you are an actor, you MUST see this movie.

Day 183--Taking of Pelham 123

2009-06-27T08:00:00.000-04:00

Ramon Rodrigues Victor Gojcaj
Pictures from IMDB

I hadn't seen the original of this movie. I can't stand John Travolta but figured that a movie with Denzel Washington couldn't be all that bad. I had two hours free, so I decided to see the movie.

The movie is an action packed movie with some great acting from Denzel Washington. Some of the plot was very thin and there were some inconsistancies in the plot that were actually pointed out by the mayor (played by James Gandofini).

As for John Travolta--he was OK. I didn't care for his lack of accent/dialect because it just did coincide with this look. He sounded too much like a greasy Vinny Barbarino. Whenever he cussed, he reaches this high pitch voice that just gets annoying.

Two plusses for me were Ramon Rodriquez who is a cute, bearded MTA worker that is a colleague of the Denzel Washington character. Another bad hottie was Victor Gojcaj a real life criminal that was recruited for the movie by agreeing to abstain from further criminal activity.

Definitely, a good picture with some great actions scenes (which for the most part where done for the sake of action scenes). You definitely have to suspend you disbelief if you want to enjoy this movie.

I rate this movie two watches--

Day 182--Transformers 2

2009-06-26T11:37:00.003-04:00

I actually saw this movie on Wednesday when it opened in NYC. I saw a 3:30 pm performance thinking that I would be able to see it before all of the kids would drag their parents to the movie. What I failed to realize was that school is out for the summer and the kids had nothing better to do than watch the movies.

I was very pleased to see the movie at the Zigfield Theater which is one of the last remaining old-time movie theaters. In NYC, they still hold movie premieres there.

In my defense, I did not read any reviews before seeing the show so I wasn't privy to any of the criticisms or reviews of the movie; also, I did not see the first movie so I didn't really know what to expect. Truth be told, I was hoping to see a naked Josh Duhamel and I recently lusted over Ramon Rodriguez (who I had just seen in The Taking of Pelham 123). Also, whenever Julie White is in anything--I'm there.

In short, I really enjoyed the movie. Granted, it isn't an Oscar contender for any of the acting awards. It should be an Oscar contender for many of the technical aspects of the movie. The movie is BIG, LOUD, and BRASH. Just what we should expect from a movie destined for the consumption of tweens.

Keep in mind, this is a movie about machines that transform into metal warriors to save the planet Earth from their out of space, and deep sea, enemies. We should expect some licenses to be taken with the plot; similarly, we should expect some gaps in explanation. Why? Because most kids, just don't care.

As for some of the criticisms of the movie (racism, being the loudest), I always regret when adults apply adult mentalities and analysis on kid's movies. We should return to our inner child and just enjoy the movie for what it is--a CGI action movie spectacle.

I rate this movie one watch--

Day 178-- Up

2009-06-22T08:00:00.000-04:00

I know that I have been deficient in posting but I have been kinda busy for a while. The one movie that I have seen recently was Up. I saw the 3D version. I enjoyed the movie and I question if the movie is really for little kids or not. It seems that there are some dark and scary moments that wouldn't be suitable for little kids.

I don't think that the 3D animation was really all that necessary or more importantly, if it was worth the extra $3.50. Don't get me wrong, the animation is great. I just think that the 3D animation was all that spectacular. Those people that saw Coraline 3D seemed to enjoy it more than the Up 3D animation.

I also liked that I had a namesake in the movie. There aren't a lot of Russell characters in the movies. I don't know why--that's just the way it is.

The only negative that I have about the movie is the voice over of Ed Asner. Ed Asner has such a distinctive voice that you know immediately it is him speaking. Asner didn't use any other voice characterization or accent. Throughout the movie, I kept on seeing Ed Asner in my mind. I had just wished that he had used some accent or something to mask this voice.

I rate this movie: one watch

Day 151--Dragonball

2009-05-25T22:35:00.002-04:00

I am a big fan of Chow Yun-Fat and Jackie Chan. I love martial arts movies and the stop motion movie style of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. I was wandering Times Square and had some time on my hands. I decided to see Dragon Evolution. It featured unknown actors and Chow Yun-Fat had a minor role.

The movie is a newish reworking of the Karate Kid style story with the end of the world thrown in for good measure. I don’t want to give away the plot but a group of rag-tag friends/acquaintances team together to save the world.

The movie is a fast paced movie with a lot of action and stop motion fighting. I enjoyed the movie very much. The plot is a little thin and it is easy to predict how and what will happen. The unknown actors provided interesting but unchallenging acting. At 100 minutes, it just about fills that time.

I rate this movie 2 watches.

Day 150--Every Little Step

2009-05-24T15:38:00.002-04:00

Every Little Step is the documentary of the casting of A Chorus Line Revival that played in New York City for 18 previews and 759 regular performances from 2006 to 2008.

If you are a fan of A Chorus Line or if you are a fan of performance based reality shows, you will enjoy the movie. For me, it was a little pedestrian. The typical stereotypes are presented—the diva, the newcomer, the aging performer, the egomaniac, etc.

I don’t know how true the characterizations were or if the personas were created through editors to make the documentary a little more interesting. This is the same problem that I have with reality TV—we are getting the characters that the producers want for us because THEY think it is more interesting.

The show was enjoyable and I should have waited for it to come out on Netflix but I am glad I got to see the movie on the big screen. A Chorus Line has always been one of my favorite musicals. I have seen it in numerous manifestations from Broadway to regional theater to high school productions.

This one can wait for the small screen. I rate this movie three watches.

Day 149--Angels & Demons

2009-05-23T21:43:00.004-04:00

I have to preface this review by saying that I enjoyed Dan Brown’s books. Granted, they are not the best written books. Granted, the plausibility of the plots are not even remotely feasible. Finally, I don’t care if Catholics or religious people are offended—these are works of fiction. If your faith is so fragile that you can’t survive a work of fiction that uses your beliefs as a foundation then you should be going to church more often. Also, if you haven’t read the books or seen the movies, you have no basis on which to criticize the movies or books. Simply because someone told you what was in the book doesn’t make you an expert desiring the boycotting of the books or the movies.

Also, I am not a big fan of Tom Hanks.

I found the movie entertaining especially since I pretty much recalled the specifics of the book. I was glad to see that a lot of the anti-Catholic sentiment was removed from the movie. I was not happy to see the character of the assassin watered down.

I enjoyed the movie primarily because I reviewed it as a travelogue of Rome which brought back some wonderful memories of times that I had spent there. Other than that, the movie is a dud. The movie is a beautiful movie to see and it moves fast. I do think that the movie is about 30 to 45 minutes too long.

I rate this movie 2 watches.

Day 142

2009-05-16T23:00:00.000-04:00

I continue to struggle with the fact that I have no cable. Maybe I am just a weak person or maybe I am just bored. I have started filling my nights with activities so I don't think about TV. Having Netflix helps but at times I still scan the newspapers to see what I am missing.

It pains me to mix the Bravo series with Issac Mizrahi. I have met him and interviewed for a job with him. I used to love his talk show.

I also miss not being able to watch my METS on TV. In a weakened moment, I ordered the MLB.com telecasts for my computer. I still have two days to cancel it. Right now, I am listening to the broadcasts on the radio. I thought that I would be able to watch the home games on my computer but they are blacked out. So I figure, what's the point of having computer access to the games if I can't watch the home games. So, I will probably cancel the subscription.

I still pass by open windows to see if there is a television playing. Sometimes I stop and drool. Other times, I keep walking.

Oh well, the struggle continues.

Day 134--Star Trek

2009-05-08T19:47:00.004-04:00

I just saw the new Star Trek movie. I saw the movie in midtown at the beautiful Zigfeld Movie Theater. For those not in the know, the Zigfeld is one of the last full sized old fashioned movie theaters. Hollywood still comes to the Zigfeld for premieres. It has been refurbished to its old glory and you can picture people showing up in their minks and black tie attire to watch movie premieres.

Regarding Star Trek, I have to say that I have never seen a Star Trek movie. My only knowledge of Star Trek was the TV series and my older brother's Enterprise model that dangled from his bedroom ceiling.

I went to see the movie because I was having a bad day and needed to get away from the office. The Zigfeld is about two blocks away from my office and they were having a 3:45 pm showing.

The movie is absolutely brilliant. Everything about the movie works. The pacing, the backstory, the music, the dialogue, and the plot were entertaining. Also, it is a beautiful movie to watch. I was never bored throughout the movie. The movie isn't perfect but it nearly is.

So, for a non-Trekkie, I loved it. I don't know how the experience was for Trekkies but I HIGHLY recommend it. I will go and see it again at an IMAX theater.

I rate this movie-- zero watches.

Day 129--Wolverine

2009-05-03T09:37:00.004-04:00

Unfortunately, I don't have a lot to say about X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Now, I do have to premise my review by the following:

I don't really care for Hugh Jackman. I know that I am in the minority here but I don't find him that attractive. I think he looks silly singing and dancing. I usually turn the channel when he performs during the Tony awards. Of course, I think that Tommy Tune looks silly dancing as well. Something about tall men with long limbs moving just looks silly to me.

I am not a huge fan of comics. I have enjoyed some comic/graphic novels that have been turned into movies but as a whole I don't follow comics. I don't know the backstory of the characters and the origins of all of their angst/super powers/family structures/bowel movements like some of the moviegoers who venture out to these movies.

Having said all of that, there is no reason to go to this movie unless you follow the comics. For those people who are comic book purists, you might be able to see your vision of Wolverine's origin come to life and to debate the merits of what was added or left out. For me, it was boring, predicable, and pedestrian.

I went to see this movie in the local gayborhood thinking that if the movie sucked at least I would be around friends. Well, the movie did suck. I was hoping that one of my favorite hotties (Ryan Reynolds) would be able to offset the cost of admission, but that failed as well.

More importantly, the dialogue was so sparse and uninspired, you wished that it would have been a silent movie with action.

This movie rates five watches.

Day 124-- Earth

2009-04-28T13:00:00.002-04:00

Why can’t the US make good movies like the Brits? After watching Earth, I was flabbergasted. What a wonderful movie on so many levels. The photography was beautiful. The music was beautiful. The editing was excellent. There was humor. There was suspense. There was poignancy.

I realize that the movie was a re-engineering of the BBC television show but seeing it on the big screen was magnificent.

Watching the movie made me realize how lazy and stupid I really am regarding our Earth. I have three clothing bins for my colors, whites and neutrals. I have three bins in my studio for scraps. Yet, I am too lazy to have recycling bins.

Regardless on how you feel about global warming, or recycling, or the Earth, you owe it to yourself and your family to see this movie.

This movie was rated zero watches.

Go. See. It.

Day 123--Fighting

2009-04-27T13:00:00.000-04:00

I’ve always been a fan of Channing Tatum. I even enjoyed the Step Up movies because I enjoy any movie that deals with dancing and beating the odds—Flashdance, Save the Last Dance, etc. I especially enjoyed Tatum in Stop Loss and A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints. It doesn’t hurt that he looks good.

The plot of the movie is very simplistic. You will figure out what happens probably within minutes. The premise of the movie is a little too convenient and you definitely have to suspend your sense of disbelief.

The main problem that I had was that I watched the movie in the Bronx at one of the local movie theaters. I didn’t feel like going into Manhattan to one of my regular movie theaters. Since it was such a gorgeous day outside, I decided to walk to my local movie theater. The locals have no sense of decorum when watching a movie. First of all, it seemed to be family day. There were three large families there with children in strollers. Why parents would bring their 3 and 5 year olds to see a movie about fighting is beyond me. Second, the movie is about NYC. So every time a local landmark or train station was featured, we would hear—“Yo, dat’s 176th station. My sister lives there.”

The only redeeming grace of the movie is the character of the girlfriend’s grandmother. Also, featured were the cleanest NYC subway cars that I have ever seen. Too bad they are that clean in real life.

This one is rated four watches.

Day 122--The Soloist

2009-04-26T13:00:00.004-04:00

There really isn’t any reason to watch this movie—not even on DVD. If someone wants to buy you a ticket, so no because you will never be able to recover the two hours of your life.

In fairness, I have never been a big Robert Downey Jr. fan. I don’t know why. Granted, he is a great actor. I never really though him to be hot but some people do.

As for Jaime Foxx, I think he was hoping to get an Academy Award nomination. You see, people with disabilities almost always get considered. But I am tired of people wanting to play savants or disabled people in the movies. If you want to see a passable movie about a musical savant, see August Rush from last year. At least it has Robin Williams in it.

As for The Soloist, the plot is too thin. There is no suspense in that you know how it will end. Other than one scene that jumps out at you, there isn’t anything noteworthy. There isn’t any epiphany—no one is the better for having seen the movie. If the movie was supposed to be about homelessness, there are better movies out there.

If you are a fan of Beethoven, listen to your CD collection and skip this movie. This movie rated five watches.

Day 121--Terrence Howard Get Over Yourself

2009-04-25T17:57:00.006-04:00

It seems that Terrence Howard is mad and he doesn't care who knows it. His latest rant is how the movie studios behind Iron Man II violated his contract by choosing Don Cheadle to play the part of Lt Colonel James Rhodes in the sequel.

Well guess what Terrence? If you dropped your voice an octave you would be believable as an Air Force officer. You sound and look like a teenager playing dress up on Halloween. When you open up your mouth and talk--you prove it. You weren't believable as an Air Force officer and that is why you weren't asked back. Get over it.

Day 117--Hot Men Movies

2009-04-21T16:16:00.009-04:00

I have to see the previews. For me, it is part of the experience. I have to leave enough time to buy popcorn. I have never seen a movie without popcorn. It is like going to the baseball game, you gotta have at least one beer and peanuts.

I admit that I am pretty shallow when it comes to picking movies. If there isn’t anything spectacular that I want to see—I will pick the movie with the hot guys in it. I’m gay—sue me. That said, I saw three movies recently that shouldn’t have been seen. I should have saved my $37.50.

Race to Witch Mountain.

OK, so I like the hunkiness that is Dwayne Johnson. I even liked him when he was the Scorpion King. I even watched his movie The Game Plan (which was cute because of the little girl and the bulldog). I always wanted a bulldog for a pet. The only redeeming grace of seeing Race to Witch Mountain was Carla Gugino. She is in a play at the St. James Theater and I got to meet her which was pretty cool. I can’t wait to talk to her about Dwayne Johnson. Maybe she can give me some scoop.

Fast and Furious
I like Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. Vin Diesel can’t act to save his soul but he usually walks around in a skin tight t-shirt and tight jeans which is good enough for me. In this movie, there are slow pans of him while he broods. I guess directors like having actors brood on screen when they can’t act. I even liked Vin Diesel in The Pacifier. To me, he was a better actor in that movie. Paul Walker is all hotness too. He is the better actor. I even saw him in Eight Below about the dog sled team. Unfortunately, the dogs were better actors but Paul is still good eye candy. This is the perfect hetero movie. Lots of cars, lots of drag racing, lots of women in bikinis (mostly Asian) and lots of silicon in the those bikinis bouncing up and down.

Crank
Jason Statham is the one for me. I have seen all of his movies only because he loves to get naked on screen. Every film that I have seen he takes off his shirt at a minimum. He usually takes it all off at some point. This is another hetero film: lots of action sequences, lots of nearly naked ladies (this time it is Latina and Asian women with the token Black hooker thrown in). Why is it that all of the women have nothing better to do than lie around on the sun deck, work the streets or work in a strip club?
So, if I had to rate this movies—I would rate each of them 4 watches.

Rating system: 0 watches (fantastic—I never looked at watch during the movie)

to 5 watches (awful—I looked at my watch five times or more, i.e., give me my money back).

Day 115--Knowing

2009-04-19T18:41:00.000-04:00

Well, to make up for all of the television shows and baseball games that I have been missing, I decided to catch up on all of the big screen movies.

After seeing Nicholas Cage’s Knowing, I have two questions: (1) How do some movie stars decide to make a movie and (2) Do people ever get tired of smashing up NYC?

Why Nicolas Cage would decide to be in such a piece of crap movie is beyond my stream of consciousness. Normally a great actor, his acting in this particular movie is simply awful. There is no other polite word for it without being cast in the Adult Content section of Google. There are many times he is left alone on the screen (the full size movie screen, no less) to emote. Yep, no words, no action, just a big Nicolas Cage face on the giant screen showing a face doing nothing else but brooding.

The plot of the movie—well, I don’t want to say anything because after you read the premise of the movie, there would be absolutely no reason to see it. You see—the plot is so simplistic, you can figure it out within fifteen minutes from the start. Well, maybe twenty five minutes, if you go to the restroom.

As for the second question, why do movie directors still enjoy blowing up New York City? Don’t people get tired of seeing NYC getting its demise in the movies? I would think that after 9-11 there would be a moratorium on blowing up NYC—I guess not. Why not Boston? Or San Francisco? Or Miami? I still cringe when I see NYC the victim of an assault—even if it is make believe. It’s funny; before 9-11, I would watch movies about NYC to see if I could recognize where the scenes were being filmed or if I could name the buildings in the background. After 9-11, I just cringe. Come on directors, give NYC a break.

Day 105

2009-04-09T15:37:00.001-04:00

Her superpowers have no equal. She is Cleaning Woman. Five foot, two inches tall, she enters the subway car waddling around on Columbia Blue and White Michael Jordans. She doesn’t care about fashion because she has coordinated her puffy jacket and her fingernail polish to match her Columbia Blue shoes. For her, this is an ensemble. The puffy jacket reaches about two inches beyond her ass and to complete the ensemble, she is wearing thick white tights. For someone in her 50s, the whole look is quite a shock—almost as shocking as her five toned, root bearing dye job. Her 15” ringlets start a very dark brown and traverse through four different shades of blond—ending in an orange blond mixture that reminds you of rancid orange juice.

As she approaches her seat of choice, she dives into her handbag to get one of the many paper towels that she carries. A stout defender against bacteria, she then reaches for her secret weapon—a Clorox wipe. She wipes the seat, fans the surrounding air to dry the wet product and reaches into your handbag to retrieve another paper towel. After wiping down, once again, she sits down and overcrowds the gentleman sitting in the other seat of a two seat bench. She smiles a wan smile at him for his discomfort and tosses the Clorox wipe, and two paper towels on the floor of the subway station. Apparently, her cleaning duties only apply to her seating arrangements.

Mr. Smarmy has his work cut out for him today. How to defeat the extraordinary powers of Cleaning Woman? As the train glides to a stop, he approaches CW. Gauging the wind direction of the newly opening doors, he takes two steps beyond her and an open handed and open faced ACHOO echoes throughout the train. The wet sneeze travels backwards in her direction and POW! –super powers of CW are obliterated.

Day 96

2009-03-31T18:02:00.001-04:00

The Dragon Lady sits quietly composed on the subway car dressed in a black happy coat and pants. Her hair is meticulously plaited and rolled on top of her head and is secured with two blood red lacquered chopsticks. Her superpower is the ability to throw any object that will automatically bisect any animal, mineral or person that dares to be in the way.

Today, she quietly wields her latest object of demise—an eyelash curler. He sits with one eye facing forward as she presses the handles of the object with full force while trying to provide grace to the only ungraceful part of her body—her how-dare-they-be straight eyelashes. The eye not undergoing this ministration darts back and forth looking for any sign of trouble.

As she alternates from reluctant eyelash to the other, Mr. Smarmy Man tries to find ways to disarm her superpowers. She keeps pressing harder and harder as she wills her eyelashes to curl. Seeing her momentarily distracted by looking into a conpact mirror, Mr. Smarmy Man sidles over and casually mentions, “My dogs has curlier eyelashes than you.”

POW—Dragon Lady’s superpowers evaporate.

Day 90

2009-03-25T06:31:00.003-04:00

Before I continue with the subway Super Hero series, I have had some inquires regarding my jury duty. Here are the highlights:

The case was a Second degree murder trial
The accused was a young Hispanic punk who had nothing better to do
The deceased was a black man from Africa who opened his apartment to strangers
The sole witness was a young black women who had too much time on her hands and wanted to party
The young woman invited a friend and his posse to the African man's apartment on her way back from buying more beer and pot--BTW she was 17 at the time
The young woman is now a prostitute

So, the case presented to us was solely dependant upon the testimony of this witness and our willingness to believe what she said. Since, her testimony in court didn't match her statement to the police officers on two major facts (i.e., the description of the gun and her description of the shooting), we had to let the punk go free.

Even though the jury believe that he probably did it, we didn't feel comfortable finding him guilty under these circumstances. Oh, did I mention that the shooting happended over FOUR years ago?

So, in reality, the court room dramas on television just aren't a true indication of what really happens. There isn't any drama. There aren't lone jurors willing to defy the majority. People that belong in jail sometimes get to walk because of weak cases, bad evidence, and ineffectual prosecutors/district attorneys who have their hands tied by the judicial system.

Day 89:Real Life Super Heroes—NOT

2009-03-24T15:52:00.003-04:00

Instead of watching television every night, I have decided to watch real life television—otherwise known as the New York Subway. Why pay for reality TV when you can get it for free?

I really get annoyed by the people who perform private rituals in the public realm. You have seen them—people who clip their finger nails on the subway (somebody has to clean that stuff up), people who eat full meals on the subway (with their fried Church’s chicken stinking up the entire place), and the makeup women.

Makeup should be applied to the face AT HOME or at least in a private setting (the women’s lounge, etc.) . I shouldn't have to watch you put on your makeup because you are running late. When you get to your destination, go to the ladies room, and take the five minutes you spent on the subway to apply your makeup and do it in private.

It’s not that I mind watching you put on your makeup—it really isn't. It’s just that I turn into an awful person when you do. Your makeup is similar to the potion that turns Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde. When you start putting on your makeup, I turn into my alter-ego, Mr. Smarmy Man.

It takes every bit of effort for me to not pull the emergency brake so you can smear your lipstick across the side of your face. Similarly, I want to inadvertently pass by you and bump you so your mascara brush pokes you in the eye.

Today, I met my super hero match—The Dragon Lady.

Day 88

2009-03-23T00:53:00.002-04:00

Well, I am finally back from the road and I am glad to be back home. I will miss the big beds found at most of the hotels and the hot water showers. I will also miss the cable TV.

I didn't really have all that much time to pack. I forgot my laptop and my camera and at a fleeting moment decided to bring along the book Catcher in the Rye. I had about four hours to prepare for a two week tour.

Since I had so much free time on my hands, I fell back into old habits and watched TV. Oh--was it fun. I watched the World Baseball Classic and some of the March Madness games. I especially enjoyed watching the English Premier League (Soccer).

I will say that I really watched them rather than just listen to them like I would if I had cable at home. The book didn't last long so I was left with watching TV.

Now that I am home, I miss some of the cable--especially now that March Madness is going into its second week (Go Boilermakers!).

Oh well--back to the real world.

Day 72

2009-03-07T18:36:00.002-05:00

I almost went into a bar today just to watch TV. Yep. It was 9:00 am and I was walking the streets of Manhattan waiting for a few of my stores to open when I walked past an Irish pub. From the inside, I could hear whooping and hollering and I recognized that sound immediately.

Guys sitting around drinking beer and watching English Premiere Soccer. I almost sat down on the sidewalk and cried. You see--this could be an historic year for English Football. Manchester United has the opportunity to win all FIVE trophies--something that has never been done. Of course, this would be the year I gave up my cable!

Also, almost bringing me to my knees this week were all of the exhibition baseball games--especially my METS. I also missed the Asian bracket of the World Baseball Classic.

Don't even get me started on missing the college Basketball conference tournaments and the Big Dance. Thank goodness I threw away all of my straight razors because I surely would have slit my wrists by now. I wonder if those plastic safety razors would work?

Just kidding--about the razors that is.

Day 63

2009-02-26T21:47:00.002-05:00

I just have to say--a murder trial on TV is way cooler and more interesting than a murder trail in real life.

I am still attending the murder trial and I am officially on my 8th day. I will be glad when this is over. We will start deliberating soon. We will see if the real life juror negotiations are anything like the TV version. For some reason, I don't think that they will be.

As for TV and cable, I have been too tired to even think about either. I do jury duty during the day, do office work at night, and do my own creative stuff for my online store. Did I mention that I am taking a bookbinding class on Tuesday nights? This past weekend, I took a specialized bookbinding class called Coptic Binding.

I do miss watching pre-season baseball though. I didn't even realize it had started until I saw a highlight while having lunch in the deli. I didn't even realize that Lent had started either.

Maybe I should get my cable back so that I can become a better informed person! Nah--still too expensive.

Day 56

2009-02-19T21:57:00.002-05:00

Today, I had jury duty. Jury duty in New York City, actually the Bronx, is a total waste of time. You show up for orientation, after waiting in line for about 45 minutes to get through the scanning machines--a la airport security--you get hustled into the Jury Waiting Room. Orientation was supposed to start at 9:00 am but didn't start until 10:30 am. After they read you all of the rules and regulations, the court office asks you to turn in your jury summons. Then you wait some more.

After they enter all of the summonses into the computer, it takes another 30 minutes to take care of the people who can't understand the instructions on the forms or just didn't pay attention to the court office when he said "only tear off portion A of your summons--please keep all of the other sections intact."

After that, we have to wait for all of the latecomers who hope to get out of jury duty because they are late--it doesn't work. Then we have to sit through a lecture on how "I don't speak English" isn't a valid excuse to be exempt from jury duty and how it is a waste of taxpayer money to prove that people actually try this so they can get out of jury duty.

So now it is 11:30 and lunch break is from 1:00 to 2:00 pm. At this point, they call all of the previous jurors who have not been chosen from Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Yep--some people still have to show up until they are chosen to sit on a jury or four days have expired. You can be interviewed for a jury and be dismissed by the judge but you have to go back to the jury pool until your four days are up.

I was in the first group to be call for interviews--there were 70 of us chosen. We file into the courtroom for our interviews. After everyone tries to get dismissed (no one was summarily dismissed out of hand), our jury cards go into a bingo type hopper and 16 names get chosen. I was not one of those people--so at this time, I am thinking that I am pretty lucky as this case will be an extended case--i.e., a 10 day trial.

Out of the first 16 people interviewed, 2 were chosen. Holy crap. What is going on here? Now I am starting to panic. What the hell happened? Those were good people. Why weren't they chosen? This means is that the probability of me being chosen is starting to increase. We now break for lunch.

I return at 2:15pm as instructed and wait around until 2:45pm to return to the courtroom. They pull out 16 more names and yes--I get snagged. We answer the judge's questions. I casually mention that I am a adjunct professor in Sociology (which in the past has worked in getting me dismissed). I am then asked about TV viewing.

Prosecuting Attorney: How much Television do you watch per week?
Me: Well, actually. I have turned off my cable.
(At which point he rolls his eyes and the defendant's attorney smiles).
Prosecuting Attorney: Have you ever seen CSI or any other police style drama when you watched TV?
Me: Naturally, I am a fan of those type of shows.
(At which point, he smiles and the defendant's attorney shakes his head).
Defendant's Attorney: Do you know the difference between CSI shows and the evidence that will appear in this court?
Me: Yes. This is reality and CSI isn't.
(At which point, he smiles and the prosecuting attorney puts down his pen).

Needless to say, of the 16 people in my group, three were chosen. Yours truly is one of them.

Some days you are the dog and some days you are the tree.

Day 52

2009-02-15T22:29:00.002-05:00

Today, I really missed my cable. I had the whole day off--didn't have to go to the office, didn't have to go to the gym, and didn't want to venture too far away from the apartment and studio. I didn't want to work in the studio because I wanted to rest from the Valentine's holiday projects. I had already cleaned up the studio and re-arranged everything in its proper place.

I cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom and bedroom. I label all of my storage boxes of materials so I can find everything easier. So, now it was 1:00 pm--what to do?

I decided to treat myself to a Netflix movie and here is where my downfall began. I have noticed that now when I watch movies or DVDs, I am more attentive to what I am watching. Now, I must really want to watch something if I am going to rent it. When I had cable, I would turn on the TV just for noise. With the cable off, I am an active watcher now.

The problem began when I decided to watch the movie "House Bunny." Why this movie was ever made and how it made it to the big screen will always remain a mystery to me. This was probably one of the worst movies I had ever seen. I couldn't even watch more than 30 minutes of the movie because it was so vapid and sophomoric. By the 30 minute mark, I wanted to scratch out my cornea. Then the downward spiral of self-pity began.

I started remembering my golden days of cable. I would be watching a soccer game at that moment. I would be getting ready to watch Cold Case. All of the missed programs (and those that would have been on the DVR) started to pass before my eyes.

I was despondent and almost called Time Warner to reinstate my cable. Instead, I took a nap. Now I won't be able to sleep until 4:00am and will be spending the night regretting the TV shows I would have been watching.

Day 46-- Kinda Glad that I don't have cable . . .

2009-02-09T22:15:00.002-05:00

because I would be inundated with the media coverage on the most overrated, overpaid baseball player in history. Yep, I have always despised Alex Rodriguez. I have always felt that he was overrated and a greedy con artist and that goes along for his agent as well.

And now, we find out that he is also a sleazy cheat along the way. Who can ever believe a single word he has to say now? Sure, all apologies--now that he got caught.

I will say that I feel sorry for him in a way and it is all the fault of the Baseball Commissioner. When you say that something is going to be anonymous so you can do a survey of baseball players--YOU DON'T ATTACH NAMES TO A URINE/BLOOD SAMPLE. If you simply want to know how many people are doing steroids, simply take samples, without names, and count the number of positive results.

Just my two cents worth.

Day 45

2009-02-09T08:41:00.002-05:00

So, the withdrawals are getting easier. I don't miss the cable too much. I stopped caring about who wins this season of Top Chef. I have stopped reading the TV listings to see what TV shows I would have been watching if I still had cable. I no longer sneak into my boss' office to watch TV on the premise that I need a break from my desk.

But on rarer occasions, something triggers my memory of a show that I used to enjoy and it makes me curse the day that I swore off of cable television and it happened yesterday. Today and tomorrow are the days of the Westminster Dog Show in NYC. For some reason, I used to love watching that broadcast. I love to learn about and see all of the different breeds of dogs. I like trying to identify all of the different dogs are they are walking down the streets of NYC.

I have always wanted a dog but unfortunately I am just not home enough to adequately take care of one. My boyfriend had a pair of Rotties (Sam and Alex) when I was in Tampa. I have a friend who breeds Great Danes. Whenever I go and visit, they hop up on my shoulders and slobber all over me.

So, I will miss the telecast of the Dog Show

Day 38

2009-02-02T23:03:00.002-05:00

One of my biggest regrets about giving up cable hasn't been the sporting events--even though I would have thoroughly enjoyed the Super Bowl game yesterday. Unfortunately, I had other events that I had to attend that prevented me from watching the game at the sports bar.

No, the biggest regret is that I am going to miss RuPaul's Drag Race on the LOGO network (that's the gay cable network in case ya didn't know). It premiered tonight and several of my friends called to gloat over me missing the first show. They invited me over to watch but only if I would cook dinner.

I think I need some new friends.

Day 37

2009-02-01T12:27:00.001-05:00

Sorry that I have been away for so long but it was necessary for a variety of reasons--primarily, a contractual agreement. First some back story.

I was in a comedy competition called "Funniest Man in NYC." It was run at a famous NY Comedy Club and was being taped as a quasi-reality series. The premise of the competition was head-to-head stand up comedy routines where the evening's competitors would be narrowed down by a group of judges and the audience--a battle of the stand up comics, so to speak. There were over 800 contestants to start and these were narrowed down to a final group of five--of which I was a finalist.

For the final competition, we were not told when the finals were going to be. We would be notified within one hour's notice of when to report. When this happened, the finalists showed up and performed and the winner and runners-up were announced. I finished in third place. The top two finishers were guaranteed a half-hour show on one of the cable comedy shows.

After it was all over, the organizers of the competition found out that the top finishers had the information regarding the time of the finals leaked to them. In so doing, they were able to load up the audience with their friends and family. So the whole project was nixed.

As a compensation, the organizers approached me and asked me if I wanted to do a documentary/reality series about the struggle of a budding stand up comic. We would do 30 small area venues (with some larger houses thrown in) and my trials and tribulations would be taped and edited into some type of program.

Part of the contract was that I would not know where I was playing but would be provided transportation and lodging. I would have to convince the owner of the comedy club or club to allow me to perform. Another part of the contract is that I was supposed to be off grid so that the project would be leaked and so I couldn't fill up the audience with favorable audience members.

So that is the reality of the situation. When I know more about the project, I will let you know. As a result, in six weeks I will be taping a 30 minute comedy special for a major cable network. I will let you know when to expect that as well.

Day Twenty Two

2009-01-16T21:25:00.002-05:00

The rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated. I have still yet to watch any television which has been extremely difficult since I have been traveling.

Since my last post, I have been performing in small venue comedy clubs on an almost nightly basis. I have been traveling throughout the United States. For reasons that I will discuss later, I have been asked to stay off the grid until the end of my tour.

Thank you for your well wishes and concerns but I am doing fine. I promise to be less cryptic in the future when this is all over and will discuss everything in much greater detail. Trust me--it's all good.

Who knows, you might see me in your small, local comedy club. Just watch out for Russell Romano in a hole-in-the-wall near you.

P.S. Chuck you can never go wrong with the Sydney Swans or Hawthorn Hawks. The Geelong Cats have always done well. I used to follow the Swans, though. The Hawks won the championship last year and the Cats the year before that. The Swans last won in 2005 (I think).

Day Twelve

2009-01-06T22:17:00.002-05:00

Tonight is going to be an early night. I am a little tired. Today was busy at work plus I had a pretty hard swim. I guess that combination of all of it together has made me tired. Hopefully, I will sleep well. No dreaming about television tonight. Last night, I had a dream that I was stuck in a rerun of a television show. The same episode kept running no matter what channel I turned on. There I was--on forbidden TV--I couldn't turn off the TV nor could I get away from the same episode.

Day Eleven

2009-01-05T23:41:00.001-05:00

I was glad to get back to my schedule today. On Mondays, I teach at Touro College in the afternoon. So, I didn’t think at all about missing TV. The problem is when I get home. I get bored rather easily and was so used to turning on the boob tube to alleviate the boredom.

I am looking into taking some night classes to alleviate the boredom. I might take a bookbinding course or another letterpress course. Maybe I will take a music class at Julliard or an acting class. Maybe continue tap dancing classes.

I am sure that I will find something to do. I do have to continue with designing Valentine Day cards. There are only 40 days until Valentine’s Day. Gotta get going.

Day Ten

2009-01-04T22:44:00.001-05:00

I was rather proud of myself today. Before going to breakfast at the diner, I decided to buy a copy of the NY Times. I used to love reading The Times but with the cost of newspapers increasing, I stopped reading The Times in favor of The Daily News. For those non-Gothamites, the Sunday Times is $4.00 and The Daily News is $1.00.

When I was seated at my regular table (right in front of the television), I enjoyed reading my paper and never even looked at the TV. I didn’t notice what was playing nor did I care. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized that the television was probably playing football playoff previews.

This will be the first new episode of Cold Case that I have missed. Also, I will miss the new International American Idol So You Think You Can Dance The World Has Talent competition.

Day Nine

2009-01-03T23:59:00.000-05:00

Today was an interesting day. They say that the proof of a person’s mettle is proven during a crisis. Well, my day wasn’t exactly a crisis, but it did show my mettle. I woke up this morning to realize that there was no running water. A little advance notice would have been nice but I wasn’t afforded that luxury. It would have been nice to have known before I wasted the one flush of the toilet only to realize that the toilet bowl didn’t refill with water.

Yeah, good morning to you to—buster. To complicate the matters, I woke up and realized, somewhat throbbingly, that the temporary cap on my root canal was no longer there. And you guessed it, good morning Saturday. My dentist’s office would not be open until Monday.

So, I was miserable and all I could think about was turning on the TV so I could settle my soul and not think about my miserable condition. Yes, I was belly-aching. Yes, I realized that there are plenty of other people who were in much worse situations than me. But still, I was hating life at the moment. All I wanted to do was turn on the television and be taken away from my miserable existence.

Once the throbbing decreased I decided to go and have a late lunch at the local diner. I knew that I couldn’t have solid food so I decided to have some soup. And as I was waiting for my soup, my eyes fell upon one of the loveliest sights. A TV. On it played, ESPN’s World’s Strongest Man Competition. I was mesmerized. My soup arrived and I watched. I watched some more. My soup got cold. I sent the soup back to be reheated. And I watched some more.

I then felt guilty. Not guilty about being entertained by these behemoth of men. I felt guilty that I was sitting there preventing the waiter from gaining business from another customer who was going to order more than the $3.99 bowl of chicken noodle soup.

Day Eight

2009-01-02T23:59:00.000-05:00

I was so bored today that I decided to go to work. I didn’t have to go into the office. I could have just worked from home; yet, I was so anxious to get away from my apartment without cable, I decided to go to the office.

While at the office, I got a lot of work done because I was the only one there for the majority of time but I kept wanting to go into my boss’ office to turn on the television. I played music via Rhapsody on my computer. I went out to a late lunch. I even went to the movie theater and couldn’t decide on a movie to watch.

I yearned to watch television. I am afraid if I succumb to the urge that I will never go back and will surround myself with the mindless entertainment and noise.

So, the struggle continues.

Day Seven

2009-01-01T23:06:00.000-05:00

Today was indeed a tough day. The weather was cold and blustery. I didn’t watch any television because I didn’t go into Manhattan. I missed the Rose Bowl parade and the Rose Bowl. More importantly, the Big Ten conference lost another game. By the end of the bowl season, the Big Ten conference will be 1 and 6 (I am predicting a loss by The Ohio State to Texas).

I am kinda glad that I didn’t go into Manhattan to watch the game. I certainly would have been frustrated and eventually drunk as the game wore on. I would have then felt guilty about (1) watching the game, (2) wasting all the time to get to a TV, and (3) spending all of that money on food and drink.

Instead, I cleaned the apartment and studio, started one of my weekend projects and took pictures of the progress for my other blog, and designed a birthday present that I need to deliver on Sunday. I might treat myself to a Netflix movie.

Day Six

2008-12-31T23:05:00.001-05:00

I am already dreading tomorrow—New Year’s Day. It is one of my favorite days of the year—College Football Bowl Day. The Rose Bowl and Rose Bowl parade. And to think that I am without cable. Boo hoo me.

Maybe I can brave the mid-20 degree weather and go to a Sports Bar in Manhattan and watch the parade, eat, drink and watch the game. That would involve sitting at the bar from 11:00 AM to 8:00 PM. See how control television can be? I’m just saying.

Today, I was rather proud of myself because I didn’t sneak into my Boss’ office to watch television. He doesn’t mind and I have keys to all of the offices so it isn’t a big deal. I only had to go to work for a half day anyway. I had to do some shopping for craft supplies to get me through the weekend. After dodging snow flurries and New Year’s Eve barricades in Manhattan, I made it to the office to do some work. While I had some down time, I considered going into my Boss’ office to turn on the television—just for a little while. Just as I was seriously considering doing so, two deliveries came to the office door and the mail arrived. As I was busy sorting things out, I had completely forgotten about the TV.

Here is wishing you a wonderful and prosperous New Year full of good cheer and television (you lucky so-and-so). Best wishes for 2009.

Day Five

2008-12-30T22:42:00.001-05:00

Today, I did something that I haven't done in a long, long, time. I sat down and wrote a letter. I mean WROTE, as in handwritten. As in, sit down with a pen and paper and write.

I used to write five letters a week to friends and family. I developed the skill when I was in the military. I was stationed in Japan for 6.5 years and I would write to people that were interested. When I got out of the Navy and returned to school, I started writing less. I would write so much for class that my handwriting became atrocious. Plus, everything turned to computers and email. Of course, my typing was much faster and more accurate. I also had the benefit of Spell Check and Grammar Check.

I wrote to a friend of my mother's who has always been a friend to our family. My younger brother played baseball with her son. We always exchange Christmas cards with the obligatory salutation for the holiday season and New Year. When my mom died several years back, our families didn't keep in touch as much. She and I still exchanged Christmas cards but I never checked in on her nor did she on me.

I received her Christmas card after Christmas Day. Since I had all of this free time on my hands, I decided to send her an update of my goings on in New York City. Before I realized it, I had written 3.5 sheets of regular ruled paper. I had to take my time so that my handwriting would be legible. I realized that I have good handwriting if I only will take my time. I also realized how dependant I had become on Spell Check. I had to stop and think about several words before committing them to paper. On the entire epistle, I only had two words lined through--I was rather proud of myself.

On the TV front, I only saw one television set as I was walking to a store to buy some art supplies. I walked around the block five times in order to see the score of the football game (college bowl game) but I figured that I needed the exercise.

Day Four

2008-12-29T22:06:00.001-05:00

The withdrawal symptoms have been lessening as the days are going by. I didn’t actively seek out a television so I could watch something. Even though, the restaurant where I had lunch had 12 televisions set to run one a college football bowl game. I did watch a Netflix rental on my computer for 50 minutes.

I do have to make one correction to an earlier posting. I still have my own television. I have the capabilities to watch DVD rentals which I will do once my Netflix DVDs come in the mail. When I disconnected my cable, in my mind, I lost the TV. In other words, cable and TV are synonymous. For me, TV is live, current shows as opposed to rentals.

Day Three

2008-12-29T01:00:00.000-05:00

I am so bored.

I have cleaned the kitchen. Cleaned the bedroom. Shredded my weight in paper. I have washed the dishes. I have taken out three large trash bags to the curb.

I decided to go and visit the local Cineplex and got there in time to watch The Tale of Devereux. It is a cute animated film. There are some scary/dark scenes that might scare children under the age of seven though. The movie would have been a more enjoyable experience if it weren’t for the Spanish speaking lady translating every sentence to her child in a non-sotto voce level.

I am so bored that I will probably be in bed by 10:00 pm.

Tomorrow, I will go to the public library and renew my library card. Also, I will clean the studio so I can begin some new projects. I can’t start new projects with the remnants of the old projects lingering around.

BTW, I decided to post my blog at the end of every night rather than on the next day. That is why there are two entries dated December 28th.

Day Two

2008-12-28T10:14:00.000-05:00

I didn't realize how ubiquitous televisions are in the city of New York. As I was shopping yesterday, I counted 43 television sets in the 5 establishments that I visited. Normally, I wouldn't have not even noticed them. But not having TV at home, I started to realize how I was jonesing for television.

I went to my favorite barbecue restaurant in Chelsea. I was sitting at my favorite two top table and glancing up at the television screen as I was eating. I was mesmerized by the images on the screen. I sat there and watched ESPN's Sportcenter without sound and without closed captioning. I sat there and watched the images just imagining what they were saying and what I was missing. So mesmerized that I didn't even realize that I had eaten all of my food and drizzled cheese down the front of my shirt.

This is going to be harder than I thought.

Day One

2008-12-27T10:47:00.000-05:00

OK. So today is the first full day without TV. I finally realized that I was addicted to the television. Not addicted in a bad way. Just addicted in a way that I couldn't go throughout the day without turning it on. Just addicted in a way that I needed it to be on while I was at the computer--even if I wasn't watching it. Just addicted in a way that I was watching reruns of the complete season of Top Chef season four even though I already knew who won and I had already watched the Top Chef marathon from start to finish last month--in one sitting.

So, in reality, I am not really addicted to television. I am just wondering where the remote is at the moment.