I have to see the previews. For me, it is part of the experience. I have to leave enough time to buy popcorn. I have never seen a movie without popcorn. It is like going to the baseball game, you gotta have at least one beer and peanuts.
I admit that I am pretty shallow when it comes to picking movies. If there isn’t anything spectacular that I want to see—I will pick the movie with the hot guys in it. I’m gay—sue me. That said, I saw three movies recently that shouldn’t have been seen. I should have saved my $37.50.
Race to Witch Mountain.
OK, so I like the hunkiness that is Dwayne Johnson. I even liked him when he was the Scorpion King. I even watched his movie The Game Plan (which was cute because of the little girl and the bulldog). I always wanted a bulldog for a pet. The only redeeming grace of seeing Race to Witch Mountain was Carla Gugino. She is in a play at the St. James Theater and I got to meet her which was pretty cool. I can’t wait to talk to her about Dwayne Johnson. Maybe she can give me some scoop.
Fast and Furious
I like Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. Vin Diesel can’t act to save his soul but he usually walks around in a skin tight t-shirt and tight jeans which is good enough for me. In this movie, there are slow pans of him while he broods. I guess directors like having actors brood on screen when they can’t act. I even liked Vin Diesel in The Pacifier. To me, he was a better actor in that movie. Paul Walker is all hotness too. He is the better actor. I even saw him in Eight Below about the dog sled team. Unfortunately, the dogs were better actors but Paul is still good eye candy. This is the perfect hetero movie. Lots of cars, lots of drag racing, lots of women in bikinis (mostly Asian) and lots of silicon in the those bikinis bouncing up and down.
Crank
Jason Statham is the one for me. I have seen all of his movies only because he loves to get naked on screen. Every film that I have seen he takes off his shirt at a minimum. He usually takes it all off at some point. This is another hetero film: lots of action sequences, lots of nearly naked ladies (this time it is Latina and Asian women with the token Black hooker thrown in). Why is it that all of the women have nothing better to do than lie around on the sun deck, work the streets or work in a strip club?
So, if I had to rate this movies—I would rate each of them 4 watches.
Rating system: 0 watches (fantastic—I never looked at watch during the movie)
Fast and Furious
I like Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. Vin Diesel can’t act to save his soul but he usually walks around in a skin tight t-shirt and tight jeans which is good enough for me. In this movie, there are slow pans of him while he broods. I guess directors like having actors brood on screen when they can’t act. I even liked Vin Diesel in The Pacifier. To me, he was a better actor in that movie. Paul Walker is all hotness too. He is the better actor. I even saw him in Eight Below about the dog sled team. Unfortunately, the dogs were better actors but Paul is still good eye candy. This is the perfect hetero movie. Lots of cars, lots of drag racing, lots of women in bikinis (mostly Asian) and lots of silicon in the those bikinis bouncing up and down.
Crank
Jason Statham is the one for me. I have seen all of his movies only because he loves to get naked on screen. Every film that I have seen he takes off his shirt at a minimum. He usually takes it all off at some point. This is another hetero film: lots of action sequences, lots of nearly naked ladies (this time it is Latina and Asian women with the token Black hooker thrown in). Why is it that all of the women have nothing better to do than lie around on the sun deck, work the streets or work in a strip club?
So, if I had to rate this movies—I would rate each of them 4 watches.
Rating system: 0 watches (fantastic—I never looked at watch during the movie)
They should make a movie where the women are all busy gocco'ing instead of lying around on the deck, or stripping. That'd be better.
ReplyDeleteBut no one would watch it unless they Gocco-ed in their bikinis.
ReplyDeleteBut just think how hilarious it would be to have these action movies and just when people are expecting the scantily clad women, they get geeky women seriously focused on making prints instead. (Glasses & everything.)
ReplyDelete