Day 105

Her superpowers have no equal. She is Cleaning Woman. Five foot, two inches tall, she enters the subway car waddling around on Columbia Blue and White Michael Jordans. She doesn’t care about fashion because she has coordinated her puffy jacket and her fingernail polish to match her Columbia Blue shoes. For her, this is an ensemble. The puffy jacket reaches about two inches beyond her ass and to complete the ensemble, she is wearing thick white tights. For someone in her 50s, the whole look is quite a shock—almost as shocking as her five toned, root bearing dye job. Her 15” ringlets start a very dark brown and traverse through four different shades of blond—ending in an orange blond mixture that reminds you of rancid orange juice.

As she approaches her seat of choice, she dives into her handbag to get one of the many paper towels that she carries. A stout defender against bacteria, she then reaches for her secret weapon—a Clorox wipe. She wipes the seat, fans the surrounding air to dry the wet product and reaches into your handbag to retrieve another paper towel. After wiping down, once again, she sits down and overcrowds the gentleman sitting in the other seat of a two seat bench. She smiles a wan smile at him for his discomfort and tosses the Clorox wipe, and two paper towels on the floor of the subway station. Apparently, her cleaning duties only apply to her seating arrangements.

Mr. Smarmy has his work cut out for him today. How to defeat the extraordinary powers of Cleaning Woman? As the train glides to a stop, he approaches CW. Gauging the wind direction of the newly opening doors, he takes two steps beyond her and an open handed and open faced ACHOO echoes throughout the train. The wet sneeze travels backwards in her direction and POW! –super powers of CW are obliterated.